*SWOON*

"Good night Babe, I love you soo much!"

"I love you too!, more than anything.. Im never letting you go"

5 min later

*huge hug and kiss*

"will you marry me?"

*nods*

"of course I will"

...

Youtube of wonders...

When you can't sleep you spend way too much time on Youtube...

This made me pee a little... Maybe its the lack of sleep!

Evolution

Ok, I found this and must share it with everyone..

Trust me to be Youtubing hot twins.. and yeah we all remember the hottest ones of the 90's B44



We all remember the horrible yet catchy song...

Well, they have gone from Nasty Bleached tips to Hot dad haircuts... and Bad pop to AMAZING classical!!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCjpDqceQYA

Im in Love!!

The Natural Way of Life

The past little while I have been soo stressed out that I was beginning to scare myself... Example of this was a couple weeks ago at work a couple of my volunteers decided they wanted to get married and use our space.. GREAT, I was sooo excited, and was getting everything ready.. until everyone started to complain and I started to snap.. The night this was held we were also having our community potluck! Great!! lots of people are going to be there for this happy occasion!! Well as the Bride(man) and the Groom (woman) arrived a couple of the seniors attending the potluck decided it was time to go outside for a smoke.. 10-15 min later I see MUDDY FOOT PRINTS GOING ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE CENTRE!!! I followed the tracks, and where they stopped (by the food) I proceeded to yell "IF I FIND OUT WHO IS WEARING THEIR FUCKING SHOES I AM GOING TO BREAK THEIR FUCKING LEGS!!!" I turn to the side and there is this little old lady with the muddy shoes... (side not found out the other day its my boss's mom HAHA!) I went storming back out front and enjoyed seeing the walk down the centre (with lack of mud cause you know I made that bitch mop it up)

Anywho.. little things like this have been setting me off on a rampage! I like LoJo feel my hormones are starting to tell me something is up.. so I went to seek some help!!

There is this local woman that sells herbs, roots, leaves, anything you can think of.. that is supposed to help with any problem you may have! So I made my appointment and went to see this modern day witch doctor.. after an hour and a half of talking (which was hell cause it was all about me BLA!!!) We had determined I needed to loose some weight and probably stop being such a crazy bitch (even though I fuck so good Im on top of it *if you dont know the song I hate you*) She runs upstairs to her herb room and comes down with a crate of goodies... next thing you know I have the worst smelling bag of what looks and smells like the twigs you have to cut out of a pets ass that have melded with its shit.. and a green bag which looks like weed,
and some bark.. I pay the lady my $100 and I am on my way!

Well she did warn me that this stuff would probably make me worse before it did get better, so when I got home I warned Matt (yeah, we live together now YAY!) that I may be a little crazy and emo for the next few days.. I feel sorry for him.. I have been up and down and taking it out on him more than anyone else!

That night I brewed up some root and downed it like a kid downs nasty ass medicine, and was out like a light! The next morning I wake up to the alarm at 5:00am (He works hella early) and as Matt gets up to shower roll over and attempt to go back to sleep.. Matt comes back into the room after his shower and crawls back into bed snuggles up for the 10 extra mins he has before he misses his bus.. kisses me on the back of the neck and says "I love you"
In my groggy state, I lift my face out of his pillow that I stole as soon as he left the bed and said I love you back.. He pauses for a second and says no you dont.. Thats just your tea talking..

I thought to myself WTF.. I rolled over and said "what?"
He says "you only hate me because the tea is making you crazy!"

Apparently I didnt say love.. I said Hate..


Im going to stick with my answer that he just heard me wrong but you never know.. I was seeing things the other day at work.. THIS SHIT IS GREAT!!!!!

Post Your Love

So I couldn't sleep again last night, so I decided to go online.. I went to my list of friends and my Minister from my old church in Olds was online! We started talking about what was going on in our lives, and the people we were seeing.. and I shared my concerns with her (basically everything in my last post) and she started asking me questions..... After that I had a list of why Im with the person I am.. it was kinda amazing! I think I had a good 50 reasons Im happy and feel the way I do... So my great mind went to work and I ran to my office, grabbed some sticky notes and started writing down all the reasons I love Matt..


I then took all the notes and posted them all over the places I knew he would be in the morning.. His phone, the shower, the mirror, the toilet, the fridge, the Peanut butter and jam (he uses to make his lunch sandwich) and then right outside the bedroom door.....

This morning when he woke up I heard all the notes being taken down.. I went back to sleep and woke up to the biggest hug I think I have ever received!

This was the Text messages we had this morning after he left:

ME- I couldn't sleep again last night and I was talking to my old minister from back home and we were talking about you and all those things came up...

Matt- Aww well Im glad she helped baby. I loved those notes, you really made me smile this morning.

ME- LOL, I wasnt sure, it thought it may of been a lil creepy.

Matt- NO WAY! it was soo cute! I mean I already knew some of the things but it was really nice to actually know exactly how you feel. If anything it only made me love you more...

ME- Aww!!!



Yeah.. Boy drama is in the air... God Im good!

Changes

I dont know what is going on but for some reason it is 2:34am and I cant sleep.. so YAY I will entertain all of you.

You know that feeling when you are dating someone and you know there is a change, but you cant tell what it is.. You worry its you or something you did.. that maybe the person you are seeing has changed because they found someone new, or better than you.. Thats where I am right now.. I try to sleep, I hear him breathe.. I think things were off tonight SOMETHING IS WRONG!! Granted I am a gay man that tends to worry about EVERYTHING.. but I dont know this one is weird my gut is telling me something is up and it isnt good..

Why is Love so fucking hard.. I hate being alone, but I know im not in a relationship because of that... I feel like Im with someone I can see being with for a long time.. but why do I feel like I need to run away all the time... He has done so much already to show me that he cares and will do anything for me.. but why do I have this stupid feeling I cannot trust him?


Bla.... I refuse to give up without a fight! Ive been through enough shit already to just give up and walk away from it all......

Home at Last!

In my last posting I had mentioned that I was moving and how great the place is.. But I didnt know it was going to be so bad getting here.. Packing was hell, we needed to get a large bed over to the house and the friend we had with the truck kept falling through.. So we decided to rent a UHAUL... We get to the UHAUL place and they didnt have the mini truck in that I wanted to use, so they upgraded us for free to the biggest stupid truck they had!! Matt wasnt comfortable driving it so it was up to me.. and Lets just say scary as shit!! But we did it.. after we dropped off the big things we took the truck back and hopped in Matts car and were headed to my old place so I could do some more packing and grab clothes and such.. and BOOM!!! We were in a head on collision... All I remember was Matt saying oh no, and looking at the other light and it being red and then an air bag in my face... When I woke up there was all this white powder shit from the airbags in the air and I couldnt breathe.. I tried to get out and went to open my door till I realized thats where the other car was as I looked out the window and saw the face of the dude driving the other car.. At this point I started to panic because I couldnt breathe or get out of the car.... It was kinda cute the entire time Matt was freaking out asking if I was okay...

Everyone was okay, the ambulance people checked everyone out and let us go.. Matt ended up getting a ticket for running a Red light (even though I dont think thats what happened) But we are alive and everything is good now!

YAY LIFE!!!