WTF should I do!?

Holla! I am afraid this post is a sad one! I know, compared to all my wonderfully hilarious ones this is going to be a drag, but what can ya do.... not everyone is happy all the time, unless you are Posh spice and get to grab beckhams ass 24/7 (now that's happiness people) Any ways.... back to my point, for some reason my mind has decided I cant settle down with just one guy! I don't know if its making up for the 21 years of being in the closet! or Im turning into Allan! hmmmmm he seems to be coming up more and more (PS: has he come out yet or is he still pretending to be banging his chiropractors secretary?) The guy I was talking about in my previous posts Ian is sooo sweet, he hasn't been with many guys, and up until a little while ago hadn't told his parents! We have been together a while now, but nothing big has happened or come out of it because we both know he is leaving for France at the end of Dec for 6 months! now people have been telling me that 6 months isnt that long, but it is.... and I dont know if I can handle it! So I have been talking to this guy Tommy for a while and he was seeing this guy and they broke up and he left for BC... well he has now told me after soooo long that he has always had these feelings for me and I have to admit I had them too, but with him being #1 taken and then #2 moving to BC kinda forgot about him..... Until now when he is moving back so he can be with me! (just so we are clear NOT the only reason he is coming back, because that would be f'n creepy!) But anyways, I am picking him up at the bus station tomorrow! So now I have 3 options.... #1 Break up with Ian and be with Tommy... #2 Stay with Ian and forget about Tommy..... Or #3 Stay with both of them until Ian Leaves in Dec and then just transfer over to just Tommy! I have no idea what to do! those of you who know me know that I cannot be mean, and I know breaking up with Ian is going to crush him! But I dont want to be a player either! LORD HELP ME!

Perfect Night........ Ummm I think not

OK! So last night Ian wanted to take me out to a play! (WOW WHAT A SWEETIE!!!) Lets just say I was excited! So, before the play we had decided to go for coffee with J and A.... Well we were done coffee and back to the house about an hour before the play was going to start... so J and A had left and that left Ian myself and J's dad! So being respectful or so I thought, we went down stairs to be out of the way and not make noise while he was watching his show! Well after I don't know maybe 10 Min's we hear him upstairs FREAKING OUT!!! he had called up J and was screaming at her because Ian and I were downstairs alone! (apparently he really likes me and has no issues with gay people, just what gay people do) so I get a call on my cell phone from J saying my dad is really uncomfortable and you guys need to leave! Ian was really good about it... he just said OK lets go, gave me a kiss and grabbed his coat... we got our stuff and left, the thing now is I don't know whether to apologise for having my boyfriend in my room, or to pretend like nothing happened and just make sure it doesn't happen again! DOES ANYONE KNOW OF ANY RENTAL PLACES IN EDMONTON!??!?!?!? THAT ARE AVAILABLE ASAP?!

UPDATE

Sorry It has been so long since i have been on here! I have been soooo busy! Any who! Lets see what New in my life... as of yesterday I have a new BF!!!!! YAY! Go Ian! He is the cutest thing in the world, and has a rocking ass, abs, and well you get the point! we have been seeing each other for a few weeks now and we have finally decided to give it a go..... Unlike hetero relationships we dont automatically assume we are bf's even after we have started sleeping together... Its just the way it works... Men are sluts... we have needs, and we dont need to be close to someone to get them (wow I sound like Allan!!!) *Only Kat will get that one* SO ya... Its all good in that area.. I now have to tell the other 3 that Im taken :( Ummmm... I got a new job! I start on the 19th! Finally a position in a NPO! Im trying to decide right now If I want to keep the Wonder full Call center position as well as this one and just work my ass to the bone for a while.... We will see how it all plays out in the end! Um right now I am sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea that I made over an hour ago... I think I have had 3 sips, Went to the dr today turns out I have a really bad throat infection! YAY!!!! I can barely talk! NOT FUN PEOPLE NOT FUN AT ALL!!!
I keep trying to think of what else has happened.........


OHHHHH YA!

I downloaded the new Britney cd!! I know kill me...... kill me now! The worst part is I am addicted to a couple of the songs! WOW! What is the city doing to me!?

Happy Halloween!

OMFG!! Ok so lastnight.. my room mates and I went to this bar downtown.. and it was a hetero country bar! I thought ok... I got kicked out of a regular bar, for wearing regular clothes... how is this bar going to be with me wearing my extreemly sexy army outfit?! Anyways, I ot over it and went.. when we got to this place I must say it was horrid! How in the hell do you dance to slow country music!? After like 10 songs they decided they would start pumping out some r&b and some pop... so I was getting my groove on! Well afer about half an hour of dancing with the girls this guy came over and started to dance beside me... I thought ok, maybe he was there to pick up one of the gals, untill he put his arm around my back and told me to dance with him! WOW! So we started dancing and he began doing the whole groin rub from behind dance thing!!! haha, I look up and there is like 5 other men around us dancing! We made this Cowboy filled fruitfly swatting bar into our own little homo party! After dancing for ever! The girls and I decided to go and grab another drink.. while we were sitting there J decided she had to use the little girls room, so I took her spot and talked to A... all of a sudden I felt someone tap me on the shoulder! This guy had been watching me dance and wanted to talk to me!! HAHA!! wow! who knew wearing tight skimpy pants would be so much fun!!!!


PS: Date this Wed!!!!! BOOYAH!!!

Worst Night Ever

Well it is Sat night, and J, A and I decided we were going to the bar. Well we started out at boots, but we decided to move on to something better... I was suggesting that we go to the Roost, but A was uncomfortable with the gay bar scene, so we went to a normal club. This place was cool, lots of people, no cover, and cheap drinks! Any ways, after dancing a couple hours away, the girls decided they had to go to the washroom.... while they were in there, one of the bouncers came up to me, standing there and asked if I was gay.... now I figured he was cute, and maybe he just might be flirting with me or something. But as soon as I got yes out of my mouth he told me I needed to get the F' out of the bar! Now it took us half an hour to find this bar, and you could tell J and A were annoyed and by the time we found this one everyone was a little annoyed. So instead of messing up their night I just told them I was going to leave and go to another bar... I walked home with out a coat, and couldn't get a hold of anyone... so, a nice hour walk home, crying made my night!

No Longer a Gay Bar Virgin!

Ok.. Last night K came up from Calgary, and we went to one of the gay bars here in the city... Well being my first time I was a little concerned... so when I got there I got a drink and went and sat with K and these 2 guys he had met and I was kinda freaking out, due to the dude in ass-less jeans in a cage right beside my face, soooo... I downed that drink, got another 2 and then they saw I was still a little uncomfortable, so K gave me his drink... Now not have eaten all day it kinda hit me hard... so when a good song came on I decided to get up and dance,not only could I not stand straight I prolly looked like an idiot as well! After a few songs I needed to go sit down again, and when I got back one of the guys K had met was sitting on my side of the table... so I climbed in and started talking to him, Well I dont know if any of you have ever been to one, but every hot guy has their shirt off! So I leaned over to this guy and asked why he still had his on! Well apparently he didnt appreciate the fact that I had my hand on his inner thigh! and didnt talk to me from that point on! hahaahahahahahaha! Anywho! The other guy was even hotter anyways! So after K and I had danced for a while it was about 3am, so we were going to leave, well the dude who was no longer talking to me told him he didnt want him to leave, so as I am ready to go, he begins dry humping and macking out with this guy! So I decide Ill give them some time, I went back to the dance floor, and found this guy on the stage (between the cages) and he kinda backed up into me, it was a good time for sure.... and tonight Im Hitting up a different one with J! YAY!!! But Im not going to drink this time!

I hate that I love you so!

This song is the story of my love life! I still haven't heard from J since I snapped.... I don't know where this is coming from! But I cant get over it!



[Rihanna (Ne-Yo):]
That’s how much I love you (yeah)
That’s how much I need you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And I can’t stand ya
Must everything you do
make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile
No..

[Ne-Yo:]
but you won’t let me
You upset me girl
and then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget
that I was upset
Can’t remember what you did

[Ne-Yo:]
But I hate it

[Rihanna:]
You know exactly what to do
So that I can’t stay mad at you
For too long, that’s wrong

[Ne-Yo:]
Girl, I hate it
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don’t wanna fuss and fight no more
So I despise that I adore you

[Rihanna (Ne-Yo):]
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah)
I can’t stand how much I need you (I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy (ooh)
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so..

[Ne-Yo:]
And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh

[Rihanna:]
Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain’t right

[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me
And your kiss won’t make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you’ll probably always have a spell on me..

[Rihanna:]
That’s how much I love you
How much I need you
That’s how much I need you
That’s how much I love you
That’s how much I need you

[Rihanna (Ne-Yo):]
And I hate that I love you sooo...
And I hate how much I love you boy (Hey)
I can’t stand how much I need you (I can’t stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...ooh)
But I just can’t let you go (But I just can’t let you go, no)
And I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
And I hate that I love you so.. so..