Random funnies

I took $1 because this is funny... Who would want this to stop!



I really do Like Milk this much too!




Yummy Noodles! Hold the Dog Please... This isnt Korea





I like Kissing my B/F like this!

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

I hate Winter... Not so much the snow, but the cold, and Ice does it enough to make me want to move! I am not the most graceful person out there and should be thankful I can walk on dry pavement! I have come to terms that I am going to end up breaking a limb this winter, and have found a way to make falling down entertaining for EVERYONE! Its taken some practice (believe me Ive had a lot) but I have managed to find a way to yell "IM GOING DOWN!!!!" before I hit the ground!


Yes it does make me feel better, I appreciate laughing at my own pain too!

A Time Of Reflection

I was trying to think of what all went on this year.. and what the next year may bring.. and everyone who knows me knows I dont have the best memory.. So.. I decided I would take a look at all my old Blog Posts and see what I like and dont like..

1) Boys suck and seem to be the main topic in my blog

2) Im REALLY GAY

3) I do a lot of gay things

4) Im very introverted

5) Work means more to me than Family

6) I miss all my friends

7) Im HELLA Funny!!!


Wow... 2008 in a nut shell!

New Tuneage

I was talking to one of my ex's the other day and he led me to the most amazing thing in the world! OMFG!!! Feed the Animals, Girltalk!!! Its a mix of old and new, cool and oh so tacky... and it comes out as complete awesomeness!
SERIOUSLY its like eating chalk and chocolate and shitting gold! I couldn't find the CD anywhere so my "new man" found it and downloaded it for me! WOOT!!!!!


Let me know what you think!

The Not Fun Part Of My Job

So I get a call the other day from the Chair of the Board telling me that from looking at the bank accounts we only have about 2 and a half months of funding left.. so I need to look into a fundraiser, or anyway we can get our hands on money... I have been on the phone for 2 hours talking to people to see how I can get some cash flowing in here, and so far it has been a dud.. How can people be so blind to see that we need help, and we are serving a community that needs the help.


Here is hoping money comes up somewhere.. or Ill be on the hunt for a new job in a couple months!

New Tatty

So I got a new tattoo... Well some of it anyways.. its huge, it goes from my shoulder to just above my wrist! its tribal with Flowers all around it.. The guy that did it was suggested to me VIA a friend well, after 8 hours of work being done so far, Im not happy with it... He went too deep in parts, and its taking forever to heal. Not only that, he has gotten kinda creepy, its like he thinks we are BFFL's.. #1 NO!!!!! #2 when I was first getting it done he decided to share with me how he has always had homosexual feelings, but has never acted on it (EWWW) #3 he is gross and old...

Anyways, now I have a half tattoo done, and need to find someone to finish it...

Family Matters... Or maybe they dont

Since my wonderful experience at home for thanksgiving I decided I was going to stay in the City, and be alone this Holiday season.. My aunt has a problem with this.. she is freaking out! Saying how Im dissing my whole family, and am trying to avoid her! Its to the point now that I have her blocked.. Im not going to put up with her shit!

On a brighter note.. my little cousin from BC is going to fly over to spend a week with me.. he doesn't get along with his family and it seems Im the only one he is willing to talk to! So he is asking his parents for a flight to see me for x-mas! We will have to see if he will be here in time for my work x-mas party and how much he can drink! haha... Oh my.. Im soooo going to hell!

Gimme Gimme Jen, Gimme, Gimme Jen

On my way to work today I decided to call up my cellular provider to see what was going on since I noticed they had changed their plans up quite a bit.. and I got a wonderful little gem called unlimited Long Distance in Canada!!! So I decided to call my peep up in NS.. Well.. it has been in the works for quite a while now that she was coming here for new years, and we were going to party like its 1999... Well.. that was until today, when she informed me that she might not be able to because she has to leave on the 2nd!!!

J- Yeah.. I dont know if its going to work

W- WHAT! are you serious.. you cant do this to me.. I was soo excited, I had like pre ejaculatory fluid pumping out!

J- *laughing* HAHA, eww

W- Im serious.. the thought of partying with you made me wet.. I dont know what Ill do if you ditch me.. Ill start to chafe.. I cant do that! with out wetness It will be all sandpaperish!!

J-*laughs even more* Oh my.. I couldnt do that! Blue Ball a friend!

W- Not only that, I would have nothing to do! I would sit in a corner singing Britney Spears, but instead of the Regular lyrics it would be "gimme gimme JEN, gimme gimme gimme JEN.. or maybe Jen-a-nizer Jen-a-nizer oh your a Jen-a-nizer" It would be horrible!

J-*spits up a little bit with a laugh that now sounds a little like a snort*

W- Im serious.. you cant do that to me!

J-Ok, Ill come.. I dont want you to resort to that! I mean Blue Balls, Dry Genitals, and Britney remixes... that would be the worst New years Ever!

W- Thanks.. I knew I could count on you!!

OMG, I have the greatest friends a gal could ask for!

Exposing myself?

and i said that right before the rihana played, you were like "i'm so tired" then right away you grabbed me and said "WE'RE DANCING" then i said something about you would have thought it was Britney, and you said "if it was Britney, not only would we have been dancing, but 'i would have taken my pants off'"



HAHA!!! My friend said I said this.. I dont think Im that Gay, but perhaps....

Code HOMO

My room mate and I were walking home from coffee lastnight, and we realized we dont really talk at home when her dad is visiting (he is old and hates the gays) so we decided we would come up with codes for the boys we are seeing/interested in so we knew what we were talking about and he would be none the wiser...


So in out lingo,

Right now, Im totally watching Married with Children, but the clicker wont work, and Im getting sick of reruns.. Im thinking this may be a new episode, but for some reason Missing was on lastnight, so Im thiking suvivor might be taking over and someone is getting kicked off the island....

Its about time someone speaks up

This guy is an amazing speaker.. I was moved that someone could care this much about the Proposition 8 Issue going on in the states... If you aren't familiar with it, gay marriage was passed, and now has been taken away... Its Sick....

Gay From 6 Blocks Away

I have been talking to a few guys lately, and there is this one that I have been messaging alot.. well we havent really met up, Ive been busy or had plans.... He has asked me out about 5 times, so last night around 1030pm he texted me and said he was out for a drive... and I asked if he was in my area of the city, and if he wanted some company... He said sure so I did the responsible thing and walked like 10 blocks away from my house and had him meet me there. First he got lost so Im giving him directions on my phone, 15 to 20 min later he pulls up.. It had just started to snow, and I was covered.. I jumped into his SUV and we pulled off.. Went to Tim Horton's got ourselves a coffee, and then I gave him a tour of the city! He is a cutie!!! Im excited we are getting together again today, a little earlier though!

Now to make this post interesting I should tell you about this other guy.. He is Queerer than a $3 bill... Dude is so gay you could tell from 6 blocks away, he raises birds.. and is just overall a creepy type person.. we went on one date and now he thinks we are a couple... I have managed to avoid him for 3 days now.. other than like the 50 calls and voice mails.. Bla.. I think I might change my number, other than he knows where I work...

Lord help me....

TAXI!!!!

I went into work today to get a little work done, but before heading out this morning my room mate and I had decided perhaps we should use our fridge as more than an art piece in our kitchen.. Well I got a little side tracked and time got away from me, so instead of taking the bus, I decided to call a cab!

15 min later a white van pulls up (I hate taking the van cabs.. makes me feel like a loser) and I hop in the front seat (back seat = more of a loser) After telling him where I needed to go, he starts driving and then asks me if I was opening up a store.. or what the Building I came out of was all about... HAHA! Awkward!! the easiest way to confuse people is saying its a "Centre for Sexual Minorities" but no... this guy wouldnt leave it alone.. So I break out the "its a centre for th Gay, lesbian, bi, trans, and Queer community"... he sits there for a min with out saying anything and adds that he has seen trannies before but only on TV!

I told him that Alberta has the highest rate of Trans people seeing how we are the only province that covers the Surgery.. and he was baffled!

He then goes on to tell me this story!

"When I was little in Uganda, I met a Prophet and he told us his story. When he was 19 he went to the well in his village to get water, as he looked into the well he fell asleep and fell into the well.. When he woke up he had drifted down a river, but something was different! He was no longer man, she was now a woman... and a beautiful woman at that! all the men wanted to get with her. after a few years she met a man and married! They had children, but to her it always felt weird because on the inside she knew she was a man! One day many years later the woman went to the river to gather some water and once again fell asleep! This time drowning.. She woke up to find herself back at the well as a 19 year old boy! He went back to his village and everyone was so surprised to see him! it had been 25 years that he was missing..."

Anywho... It was cool.. he was a cool old man! Had some good views on life!

Random Thoughts and Fun Times

So my friend T-Dot and I were talking today about all the crazyness goin on in our lives and how we now both have leather harnesses.. well we have come up with the great idea to drive 4 hours to spend a weekend in Calgary and go to the Eagle (its a sketch leather gay bar) anywho.. we were talking about it and how his friend works for a hotel line and she could get us a cheap room.. well, I would rather not see him banging someone he meets at the bar, so I suggested 2 rooms.. when this came up he didnt know if it was possible for his friend to do so! so I suggested finding a cheap place to stay anyways..

Then this Gem came into my mind...


A run down hotel is like a guest book, but instead of signatures in a book its stains on the sheets!

OMG! its art.. Im telling you!

I should sell that to someone for a song or some shit!

I Think Im In love!!!!!

OMG! ok.. so.. my friends figured I was wallowing in self pity for long enough, they decided I needed to get out and have some fun for Halloweeen! soooo.. We went to this new gay Bar Play.. and I must say, I had fun... Be it the 2 shots I had at dinner and the 12 bottles of Smirnoff ice.. I was letting loose..

Well, I was on the dance floor, enjoying myself, but not enough to spill my drink when all of a sudden it happened.. Its like it came from the heavens, the crowd moved, I got an open area on the dance floor and On came Annie Lennox Little Bird!


MY GOD! ME AND THIS WOMAN WERE MEANT TO BE!!!!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIIudD44o58

*Sad Face*

Another one bites the dust.... I fucking hate love............

All Funny stuff aside...

Most of my recent posts have been attempts to make you wet yourself... however today isnt a very fun day... Yes once again Boy problems... I have been seeing this guy for (ill check facebook, thank god it tells me everything) Aug, 29th... HOLY crap thats two months in like 3 days.. woah... anywho.. last week alot of things came into play, I was hella sick and ended up having to go to Emergency at the Hospital, I ended up sitting there for 8 hours alone because he had a test the next morning and couldnt come to see me.. and ok, I can agree that school and your career are important things, but what if I died.... COME ON! Its not the fact that he didnt come see me as much as the he didnt even call or text the next day to see if I was okay.. I ended up texting him the night after everything had happened telling him I was ok and not to worry.. (like he even cared) Well, now he has been gone for a week doing smoe kind of training for work and such, I think I have heard from him 5 times maybe, I dont think I am that high maintenance but when I have to hear from your friends to find out you like me... and never from you there is a problem.


I was all on the defence that I was going to just tell him Im sick of trying, and that I know Im worth something and if he doesnt see that he can go to hell... If he does, then maybe he should start acting like it.......


Im sitting here waiting for 4pm to roll around when he is off work, and everything goes down... Ill let you know what happens.. all I know is there is probably going to be alot of crying.. and for some stupid reason I have the new PCD song stuck in my mind...

BLA!

Fun is the first word in Fundraiser for a reason

Last night was the Big day! We did AMAZING!!! The Nurses did awesome, and were great sports.. singing their gay song, getting beat up by a Dom! I was fortunate enough to meet lots of interesting people including a few Furries!! What in the hell are Furies you might be asking.. Well Ok, an attempt at a balanced definition. I am NOT a furry but both sides hear me out before reaching for that thumbs down.

Furries are a relatively recent phenomenon which has been catapulted into near-mainstreamness almost solely because of the internet. It is obvious furries are very much victims of tarring the majority with the brush of an "unappealing" minority.

In the simplest sense furries are fans of anthropromorphic animals. That is, animals with human like features or tendencies (Fox McCloud, Sonic the Hedgehog... etc) pretty much all furries will create their own character or "fursona" for use as an art model and roleplaying, the designs of which vary wildly dependant on the artists skill and eye for contrasting colours (You get both amazing and appalling furry artists, and a wide skill range between these two) some furries can work wonders when it comes to creating a character on second life

The above paragraph is an apt description of your standard "furry", however there is a small but VERY vocal minority of the "yiff yiff" kind of division. Even though this sort of furry probably only takes up 1/10th of the fandom this is by FAR the type you hear about most often from anti-furry biased sources.

Furry porn is dangerously close to bestiality. Sorry to anyone who likes it, but it is... However the ones who like it seem to be in a minority, with the ones liking the odd fetishes like "vore" and "macro" a very small minority indeed.

Furries get a lot of crap thrown at them on the internet in relation to the activities of the minority of their fanbase. They have a reputation to reacting to this in an over the top manner (such as comparing their treatment to the Holocaust), which realy doesn't do them many favours.

However on the whole they are just a group of people who are fans of a single concept, seem to know how to have fun.. Well the point of this information session is that they were there.. and I found myself a cute one! we danced... I played with his tail... pulled on his leash a little (not being dirty at all.. he had an actual collar and leash) anywho... yeah.. it was fun..

a week in the life...

I couldnt think of anything to write, but I know how lojo depends on me and my interesting stories... so here's a little story about how my week went..

.......

ok I dont remember much, other than I got my nipples stretched! WOOT! Up two gauges! Let me tell you people... If you are ever thinking about getting it done... it hurts LIKE A MOFO!!!!! I almost threw up.. speaking of pain and throwing up, it turns out I have a stomach infection! I dont know what is wrong with me! Im getting broken and sick, Im never this hard up! Thursday night my man decided we should hang out, seeing how he was going to be gone for a week (sob) so.. we went to WEM! (the worlds biggest mall sucks when you live here, forgive me for not doing my white girl giggle and clap) Anywho, I spent like $600.00 on clothes.. mostly a coat that I am in love with and a pink... yes I say PINK cashmere sweater! for the love of god! Well half way through our spree I started to get dizzy, and burning up.. Not like the Johnas Brothers, but fever wise.. By the time we had gotten back to C`s house I was red as a pepper and he couldnt even hold his hand to my face for more then 2 min`s. We (and by this I mean he) decided that we shouldnt "do anything" so to sleep we went! The alarm clock went off at like 6:30am, and I was feeling better, and had no fever so I broke into his bathroom with a coat hanger and joined him in the shower! I had to hurry because I was meeting my two students downtown for a coffee before we went for our mani's and pedi's! After my non-fat mocha my stomach started to hurt like a bitch, but do you think that was going to stop me from my day at the spa.. hells no! so like a trooper I went and enjoyed my pampering.. after our 3 hours at the spa we decided we were hungry so we should go for lunch! After pounding back a burger and onion rings.. I was feeling even worse! Went back to the office and after about an hour I decided to go home! That night the pain got so bad I went to the Emergency room and after 5 hours decided the hell with it and went home.. Saturday morning I was supposed to be leaving for the weekend off to the Mountains but I woke up to the shooting pains again! Anyways, long story short.. still in pain, b/f is gone for a week.. and stretching your nipples sucks....

I question myself at times

Okay, I was going through YouTube.. bored one day, and I decided to look up some videos .. and I came across this!


And I fell in love! OMG WHAT A CUTIE!!! So Im sitting here, creaming over how damn cute he is, and all the wonderful things Id like to do to him... wondering if he would still have that adorable little smile... and I scroll down looking through his 100 videos.. and I come across this!


Im telling you nothing kills the moment like finding out a guy you like dresses like a woman!




Im going to go sleep with my boyfriend now just to make sure Im not digin' the pork Taco!

WOMEN!

Why is it that women think gay men have no boundaries? I mean.. The past week has been pretty crazy.. I am saying things I never thought I would ever say in my life!

"are your boobs real? they're huge"
"no, they are new.. wanna feel them?"
"Sure!"

OMG! I think I have touched more boobs this week than any straight man I know! And dont even get me started on dancing! GOOD LORD! If you dont let hetero men all up in there why in hell would you try and make a gay guy?! YUCKYYYYY!!! Im going to start having nightmares about the pork taco!!! And, I would like to take this time to clear the air about some things...

FAG-HAG = A woman who clings to a gay man, to bring excitement into her life, who needs to lose more than a few pounds and probably shaves everyday!


FAG-SESSORY = A woman who has style, like a murse, we carry you around with us, use you to flaunt our talents, and to bag the guy we want.. You could totally go out on your own, we just have so much fun that you dont.

I have no FAG HAGS in my life.. They tend to drag you down!

Whip it... Whip it good

Every once and a while at the Centre, we are sent some intern students to work for us (I really like free workers) and this round about I have 2 high energy little blonds! Lets just say first off... they really do have more fun! Yesterday we went to Ikea, and OMGL... We would go to every little set up room and pretend we were living in it, and take a picture! It was a Hoot! However, the best part was when we went to this little shop 3 doors down from the Centre.. Its a leather/kink shop! We are putting on a fundraiser, and it is the job of these students to get us items for a silent auction, and people to do acts in our talent show.. well, we go over there to see if they have anything they would be interested in donating.. the Owner introduces herself, and her husband and then the Husband leads us over to this little back room, unlocks the door and tells us we can pick anything we want.... the 3 of us look at this wall, and there is masks, whips, floggers, ball gags, cock rings... just about anything you can think of! We stand there and try and think of what someone would want.. lets just say none of us have ever thought about anything in this room! Until, the girls eye was taken by a gold sparkling flogger! They were mesmerized!! after about 30 min of trying to decide, the owner comes over and lent us a hand, telling us what things did, and what he thought would be the best.. Apparently the Floggers arent theirs, so we had to go with something else! We now have a body harness that I want to bid on! While they were getting everything ready to go I happened to mention that they should come to the Event, and that perhaps they could do something in the talent show! You know, whip someone up.. that kinda thing! We get back to the Office and not even 2 hours later there is a call for me, its the owner, and she says that we need to go back over to the shop! I grab the students and we get there and she introduces us to her DOM!! yes, dominatrix! HOLY CRAP!! she says she would love to do something in our show, but she is going to need someone to "take her wrath" of course knowing the audience we are catering to, I said it had to be one of the girls... I looked over at the one student that fell in love with the Gold flogger and said she would love to do it!!!!

I am excited to say.. at the Fundraiser, my little nurse student will be bending over and taking one for the team! LMAO! Oh I love my job!

Funniest thing ever!

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To Go or Not to Go

Thanksgiving... What a wonderful time of year! The time spent with Friends,and Family! Its a hoot! Well, most people say it is, I think im in a different place about it. This year, it was the decision, am I thankful enough to shell out $150 to hop a bus for 3 hours, tell my family Im not thankful for them, eat almost nothing because its going to be way too high in fat for my diet, and then come home? I was thinking of ways to make it better, like spending time with my boyfriend, but no.. he has to spend time with his family and Im not invited! GUESS WHY! He isnt out... Oh how fun for me! So much for having the dreaded in laws! I would rather be thankful for sitting home alone with a bottle of wine and a few good movies..

Love

Some guys don't know what is Love or Lust.
Let me be the one to tell you:
Lust is when you love what you see and Love is when you lust for what's inside.
Love is too strong a word to say it too early, but it has too beautiful a meaning to say it too late.

The Life and Times

Hello again everyone! I have been a very busy boy, and been ignoring my blog for quite some time now! *slaps on the hand* But Now I AM BACK! I know I said that last post.. but now I am in a position that I think I need to start sharing again before I go insane!

Since the last time I had posted things have changed up quite a bit! I am no longer working at the Homeless shelter, it turns out that a Christian shelter is no place for a fag... At least that is what I was told my numerous co workers... But you know, life has a funny way of doing things! As all the issues were coming up at work (being told all gay people were molested as children and enjoyed it, and that I was living a life of sin with everything I did) a position became available at a local GLBTQ centre I was volunteering for! I applied and am now running the Centre! Its amazing! I work with so many different people and I am learning so much! The whole alphabet soup thing with the GLBTTTIQQA, I have meetings just like everyone else, but mine are with Royalty! Drag Queens and Kings,and learning how to be a man from all the bull dyke's!

All I have to say is thank god they are around, I had to build something the other day!

Im thinking it might be fun to blog all the interesting things that happen to me at work! Watch out for another day in the Life!

Long time no Blog!

Hello Everyone!

Sorry it has been so long but I have been quite Busy!!!

Lets see, the most basic update I can give...well, I am workign full time! LOVE my job, I am a youth worker at a homeless shelter! I am currently taking some courses, and hope to have my degree in counciling in a year or so... ummm... My life has kind of been a mess.. The company I am working for is a Christian Organization, and I must say its good to get back in touch with my religion, however no one really knows who I am. Which make it hard to enjoy being here. When I hear all the negitive things, and just turn a deaf ear.. its gotten to the point that I am standing up for everything I believe in, so its kinda nice!

I am still alone in this world, but its ok! recently I have been pushing everyone away. I just want my space to be who I am, and not need to worry about how it effects others. And make choices I wont look back on and wonder what the hell I was thinking!

I am hoping to get back into this again ( I know I said that before) but now that I have a few hours to kill everynight, I will try and keep this updated!

Life is Like a RollerCoaster

Im back!

So in life we have ups and downs... well people currently my life seems to be digging deeper and deeper! If I dont reach the other side soon I dont know whats going to happen! Lets see, Im not even going to talk about MEN!!! I got in my first car accident! I now have a hate on for the city and their ability of clearing the roads! I am coming to the conclusion that there are lucky people and then there is me... OH WELL! Lets see, what else is new........ OH I got a new Job, I am now a Youth Worker in a homeless shelter! YAY! all but the part that I am paid monthly instead of biweekly! So now all my bills are going to be messed up for next month! oh well, a month with out a phone wont be that bad... as long as I can make my rent payment.... which, oh look at this... isnt going to happen unless I can find a way to magicly come up with a money tree!!!! Life isnt that bad, Im still losing weight! YAY! Having no money for food really helps!



When is this ride going to Change it up, Im starting to feel sick......